Like many of you, I’m not sure how to go on with life as usual amid the Coronavirus pandemic and all its after-effects. People are dying, people are sick, people are scared, people are confused and unsure who and what to believe, people are worried about their businesses and paying the bills, people are worried about feeding their families… Like so many of you, I’m worried about what’s to come and hate that so much is out of our control. I wish I had some words of wisdom to impart, but I’m still trying to process it all and keep my anxiety, which is currently working overtime, in check.
I will say we are practicing social-distancing, and I encourage you to do the same. It’s insane that so many people are not taking this seriously. I was going to go on a rant about it, but honestly, I don’t think I would say anything that hasn’t been said. I’d rather focus on some things I’m focusing on to get us through this. Like a lot of you, I’m trying to balance working from home without childcare, providing my son with structure and the lessons he’s missing out on while his preschool is closed, and trying to nurse and care for a six month old — that in and of itself is really stressful. But I’m also trying to navigate businesses being impacted by the Coronavirus, including this blog and brand. And I’m worried about my family’s health and for the future and aftermath of this all. What will a recession mean for our economy, our jobs, our children’s futures etc.? What if one of us gets it and gets really sick? What if our parents get it? What if stores start running out of groceries and diapers and medicine? What if we can’t go out to get things we need?
There are also far less important (in the grand scheme of things) stressors like will we ever be able to finish the final renovations on our home (all temporarily halted due to Corona), which while trivial compared to the other implications of this virus, is stressing me out as I am stuck in this home and reminded each day of all the things that need to be finished. And for me, organizing, rearranging furniture, and working on my home is a major stress-reliever for me. But it’s also causing me stress right now.
The problem is, I know my stress is affecting my family. James is acting … different. Not bad. It’s just that I can tell he’s a little sad and something is bugging him. He doesn’t really understand what’s going on, and he’s happy to have me home, but he’s having a hard time. I think it’s my stress and anxiety. I think he senses it, and I think it’s affecting him, as much as I try to put on a fun and happy face. It also can’t be fun for him to have a mom whose half teacher, half on her computer, half being a mom to him and his sister.
So how am I dealing and trying to get through this time?
I’m just trying to take it one day at a time. I’m trying not to think about the future and live more in the now. I’m trying to do what I can around the house to help ease my stress. I’m trying to be as present for my children as I can. I’m trying to think of the positive — that I get this precious time home with my kids, something I have craved so much, especially while Charlie is so little. I’m trying to revel in the time it allows us to just focus on our family, and enjoy not having to plan things or run around from birthday party to activity to school to work to work event, etc.. I’m trying to look to my husband as a team member in this fight against Corona rather than an annoying coworker, and think about how much I love my family right now. I’m trying to remind myself how lucky we are to have our health. I’m enjoying connecting with people in new ways. Above all, I’m thankful for the reminder of what’s important — health, family, and the people you love. I’m reminded of how little everything else matters, even if it seems so important. I’m focusing on how lucky we are to be OK right now, to be bored, to miss each other, and how much more we’ll appreciate the mundane, the little things, and the big when this storm is over and life begins to go back to some semblance of normal.
I truly believe things happen for a reason and this seems to be the universe’s way of pushing us back on course. We’ve gotten so far off course — our consumption, our crazy busy always on 24/7 lifestyles, the focus on our differences and all the fighting and hate in the world rn — maybe this is the push we need to slow down, to savor every moment, to remember that we are all in this together, and we are more connected and alike than we think. Maybe this is our time to reset, reboot, and rethink our lives. Easier said than done, I know. But I’m going to use this unprecedented time to try to remember how truly blessed and lucky I am and what is truly important, even when I don’t know how I will get through another day balancing it all.